Frau Mackenbach

We met a German woman this weekend- a woman I will never forget as long as I live.

She made a huge impression on me and likely has no idea. I keep thinking that I wish I had met her six months ago, as we first moved to Germany- my welcome to Germany might have been a little different, perhaps more positive. I'm grateful I met her now as I still have time here to not only get to know her better, but to learn more from her.

I have a friend who just left last week to spend the summer with her parents in the states. We ran over to her house to check on a few last-minute things. I had a handful of her plants {to water over the summer} and while sitting in our car waiting for Jim I noticed this German woman standing on her porch across the street. She just stood there- staring intently in my direction.

It was the normal German stare. It's very obvious they're looking at you- they don't hide it in any way. Quite blatent. Already, I think I've seen it a hundred times. The normal thoughts go through my head thinking we're being too loud, our car is too dirty, we have too many kids... and a few other things I assume as I see her fixated in our direction.

I realize it might look strange with us hauling things away from my friend's house, so I decided to go talk to her for a minute. Or, at least explain what was going on as best I could.

I started with the usual, "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" Always a good opening line letting her know I do know a little German, but if she'd speak English I'd be oh, so happy. She let me know she knew a little. Yeah- we're off to a good start. Opting to speak in my limited German, I let her know my friend was on vacation, so I was taking care of her plants for the summer. I was a little timid having just been mildly scolded by the German {strawberry stand} lady this weekend after not putting the strawberries in the bag correctly.

Much to my surprise, she was the most kind German woman I've met yet. I ended up talking to her for quite a while when Jim returned to the car and decided to check out what was going on. It's not unusual for me to talk to strangers, but Germans are a little different. They're usually a little short and to the point. To actually see me smiling and talking with this woman caught his interest and he came over to join in the conversation which lastest even longer.

Honestly, I was shocked myself to still be talking to her.

Our conversation was cut short as she was heading out somewhere, and her ride was {impatiently} waiting with frequent honks of his car horn. I told her we would come back and see her this week to finish talking. Sunday, we returned to Mackenbach and knocked on our new friends' door as promised. She has a part of her house that she could rent out but it needs a lot of work. We told her we would like to look at it knowing Jim could possibly help her fix it up. She said she needed a painter. When he said he paints she was practically blown away. Her eyes got huge and she responded, "You can paint?"

In walking through her house, we realized it is much too small and needs a ton of work. Her location is super close to the base, but for now we'll stay put. Even after establishing the fact that we couldn't move there, we had a hard time breaking away and leaving our new friend.

Seeing the tears in her eyes as she spoke, we quickly learned she is a very lonley lady. She told us she had surgery {thyroid, I think} which has been difficult leaving her in poor health. She also has troubles with her eye and the doctor wants to do surgery, but she can't bring herself to do it. This makes it very hard for her to see.

Often, she stands on her porch and can see colors {a blue shirt}, but doesn't see details- even if someone waves. I felt ashamed in assuming she was just another German woman staring and judging me.

She also told of when she was younger and used to run around helping everyone else. Her mother often called her asking her to come over to visit. She was always too busy- too much to do. Now, her mother is dead. Now, she realizes she's in that same position- old, sick and lonely needing help and being on her own. This more than anything else she said made a huge impression on me. Life is short.

Why is it so easy to get caught up in things that don't really matter while forgetting the huge {IMPORTANT} things that do matter? Why is it so easy to judge before even knowing someone? I'm so guilty of this. I think I needed a reality check and I got it.

For now, we've decided she's our new project. Compassion for others has always been on the top of things I most want my boys to learn. Whether dropping things off for her, helping with small projects she has or just taking the time to visit we will not be forgetting her.