Military Wife Questions

Ok... I know when you join the military- you are the military. Jim joined 12+ years ago and I guess I joined when we got married! It's a totally different way of living, but we try to keep our life as normal and non-military as possible. Living 25 minutes away from the base helps. There are good things and bad things. Lately, I just don't understand a few things... Maybe someone has the answers for me!

1. No overtime. I don't get it. I think the active-duty military has to be the only occupation that doesn't pay overtime. Overtime is not an option and there's no compensation. How do they get away with that? Last week, Jim found out (not for the first time) that they'd be on 12-hr shifts this week. This is after he worked on his Saturday off and will be working next weekend, too. So, that's at least a 70-hr work week for him with no extra pay, and not even a comp day off. Isn't that abuse? At the airport, if I worked 5 minutes over my shift, it was extra pay... loved every extra penny I earned.

2. If he or she is in uniform, you can't hold hands or show other displays of public affection with the military member. In my case, my husband. The first time Jim told me this, I thought he was joking. We were just walking into the commissary after he got off work. I don't get it- we're married, shouldn't holding hands be ok? And, don't forget that hat has to be on... I complain less about that rule.

3. Promotions. This one totally baffles me. As if it's not bad enough waiting to see if you make a rank after testing... you get to wait longer. The last rank that Jim made, he tested in February. He didn't find out until June that he passed and would be promoted to the next rank. I was excited... a little raise, little more respect. Nope, he didn't get his raise or rank until the following June. Even worse, he was one of the guys in the Air Force the least amount of time, so he had to wait until the last to get his promotion. If it takes you a long time to pass a rank, you get to sew it on quicker. How crazy is that- a whole year of waiting to get that raise. Shouldn't it have been in effect immediately? But, on the other hand, they add the responsibility and workload of the new rank as soon as the results are in. So, Jim tested this year in February, should find out in June if he passed and if so... his raise should kick in by next year- about the time I'm ready for him to get out!!

4. Moving. Why is it beneficial to move military families around so much? Moving costs are huge. Relocating is an adjustment for anyone. Yes, I understand there are adventurous families out there who like to expose their kids to new places. That's great- for them. Why can't there be a choice? I think it takes a while in any job to just get comfortable with it, learn the job and increase efficiency. How efficient is it to be continually training new guys? I would be a little more bitter on this subject if we had ended up in Dover or Minot, North Dakota... Guess it's not so bad for me, since I'm in a place I like. Here, it's hard for anyone to get OUT of Kansas. Most of the guys in Jim's shop have been here since they got in the military and can't get a transfer out. Again, this makes no sense to me.

5. Base housing- not such a good deal. I really don't understand this. The amount of housing allowance you get depends on your rank- easy enough, everything in the military seems to revolve around rank. If you live on base, base housing takes your entire housing allowance for rent. So, if you've been in 10 years and the guy next door has been in a year, it doesn't matter that you're paying $700+ more each month for the same housing. Where else do they charge rent based on your income? Shouldn't the 4-bedrooms be a certain price? 2-bedrooms a little less? Base housing makes so much money, that's all I have to say about that...

6. The benefits are good, not great. I will say, it is nice having good health insurance. We don't have to worry about co-pays or extra bills if our kids end up in the Emergency Room. But, other companies offer great health insurance too. May not be as cheap, but it's still great insurance. Yes, we get a housing allowance that is added to our pay. On the other hand, I think without the extra housing pay, they could would have to increase the base pay- so it works.

7. Deployments at the drop of a hat. Not too long ago, they decided to do a mission here and deployed a bunch of guys. They told them on a Friday they were going to Africa and they shipped them out on Saturday. I was complaining about Jim working extra on the weekend- I better quit.

My list could go on and on... There are those who are in and are perfectly content, but on the flip side, they wonder why so many guys get out.