I'm a huge believer in dinner as a family sitting around the table together every night. Doesn't matter if we're eating cereal or steak, it's a time that we connect and spend together. Even if someone decides they don't want or like what is for dinner {usually Coleman}, we make them sit at the table with us. About a year ago, we were sitting around the dinner table with the conversation centering around leverage. The leverage we have as parents and what makes each kid tick. It was a no-brainer that taking games away from Ty is the worst form of punishment. For Justin it was food, Coleman it was dessert. We struggled with Caden- I think in the end Justin said we could take work/cleaning away from Caden to best punish him. Go figure. The bottom line is we all know Ty loves electronic games and will pretty much play every spare second he has available.
Up until this last year, we didn't allow the big boys to have games on during the week. They were for weekends only and we really liked it that way. We figured they were getting old enough, doing well with their sports and keep their grades up- we'd ease up and let them play when they want to.
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| in November at our hotel when we first moved here |
Even carrying high grades, I still think Ty spends way too many hours a week playing games. I'm the mom, I should regulate this- right? In his opinion, it is a kind of socializing- especially since he plays LIVE where he's on his headphones playing with kids from school and even friends from Mulvane. I get this, but still don't totally buy in to his justification.
So, this week {Tuesday} after a solid three-day weekend of games and a little attitude, I told him games were off for the week- through Friday. One would think it was an eternity and I've had one very upset kid. I asked the other night if he was mad at me. He said, "No." Jim asked if he was happy {cracking yet another funny...}. He replied, "I'm indifferent."
Indifferent? Of course, I had to look up the dictionary definition to see if it was totally fitting. The dictionary says, not thinking about or interested in someone or something. Basically, not interested.
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| In KS at a football game with his girlfriend, Tay |
Synonyms include cold, cool, aloof, blase, detached, callous. Yes, this described his mood perfectly. And, all because of games? He's warmed up a little this morning with games back on. I'm sure he's still not totally happy with me, but we're making progress. My point to him- it's all about balance and life as a whole. There is more to life than gams. His point to me- games aren't bad and he's not on them all the time. It's so tough being the mom.
Makes me wonder how many hours per week other kids play and how other parents regulate time in front of these electronic devices. According to Ty, I'm definitely one of the "more strict" parent. He can't believe he gets good grades and we still limit him. Life is so unfair. Our of curiosity, I've decided to do a completely unscientific poll. I've added a survey on my side bar just for the heck of it. Feel free to vote!
1 comment:
Tell Ty that it was only this Christmas that we got our 1st video game system - a Wii. We swore for years that we wouldn't allow one in the house. We finally decided that they bad if we regulated it. We only allow it on the weekends and we don't really play all that much. Ethan loves games of all kind and would probably play non stop if we let him.
But, I probably shouldn't get on my soap box about video games. I think teenagers, in general, are too addicted to them. I think they teach instant gratification - which in turn makes it hard for kids to learn to work long and hard at something. I think they with draw kids socially from the rest of society. I think most are way too violent and/or sexy. I particularly dislike the online games for a variety of reasons too. I think at best they are a waste of time. Of course, I'm writing this as my kids are playing Wii bowling with their uncles. They actually haven't played in weeks. :) If used in small amounts and played with someone else (that's another rule we have. You have to play with another person. You can't play by yourself) then they aren't horrible.
Also, I probably shouldn't get started on grades/school. I think that if a child can do little to no work in school and get grades, more often than not it means the classes aren't challenging the children. I'd rather my kids get a C in a class that they were working hard, than an A in a class they did nothing. But...this is another subject - a major reason we're now homeschooling. Most kids aren't schooled to their potential - I believe.
So - there is my soap box. Although, I can tell you how I feel about things, I couldn't possibly begin to tell you what to do with Ty. He's your kid and you know him best and you know how you want to raise him. I wouldn't dream of being able to tell you what the best way to handle all this is. Good luck to you though! Parenting is a lot of things, but its not boring and its not easy.
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