not a T I G E R mother

Last month, I was invited to go to a book club meeting. I love to read, but I've never been in an actual book club. I didn't know quite what to think except it would be a great chance to meet other moms and possibly make some friends here. When I told Justin and Ty about it they kind of humored me. I tried to explain it is a group that picks a book for everyone to read. They then they get together at someone's house and discuss it. I think Ty's exact response was, "Sounds like a lot of fun, mom." I had to laugh- he was right.

But, I actually really enjoyed my evening out. The gal who hosted it had lots of yummy food and created such a warm environment in her home. Hearing different perspectives was great. Being around other women was quite enjoyable. I came away feeling a little re-charged and uplifted.

Last night, I went for the second meeting where we discussed the book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"

by Amy Chua. What a thought-provoking book- I loved it. Unable to find it here, Jim bought it for me while in Texas. When he brought it home, I was in the middle of another book but picked up the Tiger Mother with intentions of only reading the first page.

I had no idea what it was about. I couldn't stop reading it, finishing it that day. Chua says even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers.

For example, her kids were never allowed to:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

While I don't agree with how she went about motivating {screaming} and demanding her girls to perform, it has caused me to reflect on what we expect and how we motivate our boys to achieve. I think it's important to have a balance of play and work, but are we too easy on our boys? Are we satisfied with mediocrity when we know they can do better?

This week, Justin and Ty brought home their schedules for classes to enroll in next year. While both are taking AP classes, Ty was struggling to decide if he should take two or three of them. He loves Chemistry, so AP Chemistry is a no-brainer. AP Lit and AP History are the other two he was debating. Initially, he decided to do the AP Lit, but wasn't sure about the AP History because he thought it would be too much work. I argued the other side telling him he's so good at memorization and history- I thought it would be more enjoyable for him.

Had I not read this book I think I would have said, "As a junior, two AP classes is great." But, the fact that he said he wasn't sure he wanted to do the work... made me think he needed a little push. We talked more about it and his other classes- AP Chemistry, Physics, Pre-Calc, AP Lit, Spanish... and football season. We decided his load would be full enough to challenge him and it was ok to back off. Definitely wouldn't have been allowed by a Tiger mother, but that's ok. I do want my kids to still like me when they're grown!